Fan Art Fridays: Kevin Hart

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Congrats to Kevin Hart for getting his very own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this week!

The comedian had a very big week with the release of his film What Now? hitting the theaters today. The last movie I saw Kevin Hart in was Get Hard, and it was even more hilarious than it normally would have been because I caught it on HBO Latino.

Yeah. Imagine Kevin Hart dubbed oven in Spanish.

In honor of Kevin Hart’s new star and film, today’s Fan Art Fridays is a color pencil drawing of the comedian by @vfj87_artist on Instagram. It’s so Kevin Hart of him to hold the microphone upside down like that.

Kevin Hart proves that the best things come in fun-sized packages.

View the original fan art here.

 

“Life is BeautAWFUL” with Mike Falzone & Elliott Morgan @ The Creek and the Cave

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I spent my Cinco de Mayo 2016 laughing at the genius of Mike Falzone and Elliott Morgan’s “Life is BeautAWFUL” at The Creek and the Cave in Long Island City.

The show was a blast, hosted by Peggy O’Leary with guests Robert Dean and Andrew Delman. Zoja was also in the audience. The only unpleasant happening that night was the part where the door at the restaurant section of the venue scraped some skin off my right hand.

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See that nice little gash below my pinky? -____-

I should have gotten a drink to numb that pain, but I was alone and didn’t want to have my judgement clouded on the 1.5 hour ride back home after.

After Peggy told some jokes about her intense childhood and terrible dating life, Robert Dean took the stage.

“I’m going to wake up one morning and be a Bob,” he started. Apparently his Uber driver already thought he looked like one, adding “Mr. Bob” to the end of every sentence he communicated to Robert.

“‘Do people call you Mr. Bob?'” the taxi driver asked 15 times too late.

Andrew Delamn told us some fun jokes about his girlfriend Lee Newton who makes light of her serious heart condition by pretending to drop dead in Target on a regular basis.

“The day I don’t act concerned is the day she’s actually dead,” he complained. One time she got on a Six Flags roller coaster that warned against people with heart conditions getting on it. By the end of the ride she lay limp in her seat.

Lee Newton is officially terrible, but I love her.

Then Mike Falzone took the stage. I’d been waiting for this moment.

He seemed way more awkward and chill than in his YouTube videos. It was interesting.

“People used to say that since I’m an only kid I can get whatever I want,” he joked. “Except be an uncle!”

That joke hit close to home.

Mike also expressed interest in owning a tow truck company so that he could pretend to be a magician.

“Is this your car?” he’d say to each person arriving at the pound to retrieve their vehicle. That might not go over very well.

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Last was Elliott Morgan. Although I didn’t know much about him, he seemed pretty fun on stage so I’ll definitely be checking out his YouTube videos.

He claims that he looks like the product of Mr. Bean and Sam Smith if they had a gay baby. He also considers himself “Maybe gay.”

Elliott hates taxes, which he complains about to his dad who reminds him that if he didn’t pay taxes there wouldn’t be any money to build roads.

Worse thing to tell someone living the torture of LA traffic. Elliott would try to illegally drive himself out of traffic, but that would get him pulled over by a cop.

“WHOSE SALARY IS PAID BY OUR TAXES,” Elliott cried. “It’s a Ponzi scheme, which is another word I have no clue about but one that I use often.”

I think I’ve fallen for Elliott Morgan.

After the show, we asked Mike and Andrew what it’s like being with their girlfriends.

“Exactly how you think it would be,” Mike said.

Then we asked them about the worst thing that ever happened to them on stage. Mike and Andrew complained that they bombed on jokes while Elliott broke his mic mid performance. Peggy was annoyed that those were considered worst stage experiences for them and proceeded to tell us about a drunk man in an audience that almost charged on her during a show.

Peggy won the Q&A.

The Creek and the Cave often have free and cheap comedy shows on evenings, so be sure to check out the calendar to see who’s working the stage!

3 Mics @ Lynn Redgrave Theater

*POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINK

3 mics neal brennan ticket

On Friday night, my friend Karina and I went out for a little night on the town.

After scrolling through Today Tix earlier that week, I found 3 Mics, a comedy show featuring former co-creator of the Chapelle Show Neal Brennan.

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The premise of the show is Neal Brennan’s ability to alternate between three microphones, showcasing his abilities as a versatile comedian. One of the three mics were for one-liners, another for long-form jokes about topics such as race and student loan debt, and the last one for his journey as a writer and performer. Before switching to a new mic, the lights would fade out and Neal took a sip from one of the three water bottles in each microphone cradle.

1 man, 3 mics.

1 man, 3 mics.

The show took place at Lynn Redgrave Theater in Greenwich Village. Karina and I took the M train to get there from Queens, and it was a pretty smooth ride.

We got to the theater around 9pm, and the show started at 9:30. I’d forgotten to tell Karina that there were no drinks at this venue, much less a bar area. I don’t understand how a venue for comedy thinks it’s okay to not have a liquor license. Someone fix this! Karina had intended to pay me back for the tickets by getting me a drink, but we had to go elsewhere for that.

The best part was realizing we’d only paid $1o each for obstructed view seats (which weren’t obstructed at all) to see a show by a comedian that once worked alongside Dave Chapelle. How insane!

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Obstructed view? SOLD.

To say Karina fell head over heels for Neal Brennan is an understatement. Regardless of how depressing Neal’s life is when it comes to feeling emotion, he’s a great standup comedian with a lot of feel-good energy. Our favorite joke of his involved male and female hormones.

“With women, estrogen is like, ‘Let’s drink some wine and go on Etsy,'” he said. Then he imitated testosterone, which he compares to a jail inmate, by pulling the bar stool closer to do a few push ups.

It was great. Best $20 I spent on a night of entertainment to date.

Karina and I at 3 Mics

Karina and I at 3 Mics

After the show, we went to meet some of Karina’s friends at Diablo Royale. I had The Luci, which was sparkling wine mixed with a frozen margarita. Karina had a classic margarita.

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The Luci and a margarita classic at Diablo Royale

After a hunt to satisfy Karina’s late night sushi craving, we got on a train decked out as the set of Starz series Outlander. 

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Karina with a portrait of Outlander’s King Louis XV (Lionel Lingelser)

We couldn’t resist taking a few pics.

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Overall, we had a great night. I’ll definitely be using Today Tix more often.

*Get $10 off affordable tickets to see 3 Mics and other Broadway/Off-Broadway shows on Today Tix using my promo code BPTQF!

Read more about 3 Mics at Hollywood Reporter.

Improv Everywhere Turns NYC Subway into Luxury Spa

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Imagine getting off the train at the 34th Street subway station and seeing a bunch of people sitting on benches in white robes and towels.

That’s exactly the scene Improv Everywhere decided to set up on an 85 degree day in NYC. It was 95 degrees underground, which is the perfect temperature for a relaxing sauna.

So why not?

“It’s surprising,” said one woman. “Unusual.”

The crew set up a sauna station on the benches, a water mist platform, and even a hot stone massage.

“That stone treatment is lovely,” said a lady after trying the massage.

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Most of the people exiting the trains were utterly confused. Others were amused at the idea and decided to take advantage.

I’d be a bit skeptical of the germs lurking on the subway benches, so I wouldn’t want to sit on them in just a towel or robe.

I would, however, waste no time signing up for that hot stone massage!

The funniest part is the way they packed everything up and left as if nothing ever happened.

How would you react if you got off the train to find 34th Street renamed 34th Spa?

Watch the hilarious video below.

 

Conan and Dave Franco Take Tinder For a Spin

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Not as themselves, of course.

Conan O’Brien decided to channel his inner creep and join the popular dating app, Tinder, with Dave Franco on his show last week.

For the profiles, Conan chose the name Chip Whitley, and Franco chose Ghengis Roundstone.

Both used their real photos for the profile. Not sure how those ladies actually believed that a man named Ghengis Roundstone happened to look exactly like Dave Franco.

Red flags. Red flags everywhere.

I don’t think it’ll take you very long to guess who ended up with a successful match.

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I just love the fact that they both matched up with the same 72 year old woman at first. Conan’s messages to her were beyond stalkerish.

At one point they swapped phones and started swiping left and right for each other before Franco matched up with a girl named Courtney.

My favorite part has to be when Conan asks the guy at Courtney’s house what’s wrong with his looks.

“You’re tall and goofy,” the guy says to Conan.

Burn.

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Oh, and that van was just ridiculous. What even, though?

Watch the hilarious clip and the bloopers below!

Hofstra Fall Fest 2013 and Aziz Ansari Comedy Show

Saturday, September 28th was a very exciting day at Hofstra University.

Fall Fest 2013

Even before the Fall 2013 semester began, there were rumors that Ke$ha would be performing at the Vibe Live concert on campus for homecoming.

I can imagine how happy Hofstra students were when Entertainment Unlimited finally released the full lineup.

As a commuter, of course the first thing that caught my eye that day was all of the cars parked in places that student cars don’t usually park. I was starting to worry that the shuttle wasn’t going to be able to let me exit at Hofstra USA to get my wristband.

Parade of Floats, Carnival, and Vibe Live

The day kicked off with the Parade of Floats, led by Kate and Willie Pride, the school mascots.

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Following them were the lovely cheerleaders, the nominees for homecoming King and Queen, and the movie themed floats.

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Later on during the festival, Justin Smith of Pennsylvania was crowned King and Rachel Elizabeth of Texas was crowned Queen.

Over on the intramural fields, the 2000 ride caught my eye. My friend Jessica was so determined to ride it as soon as we were allowed to enter at 2pm.

IMAG2545Jessica was the first to start screaming when the ride started to spin around in circles on a different axis after every 20 seconds or so. Chad and Mrs. Johnson were also screaming like mad, and I could not stop laughing.

After 2000, we went on the swings, hoping that we wouldn’t fly out and end up on the south side of campus.

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On the Swings
Front (l-r): Chad and Jessica
Back (l-r): Me and Mrs. Johnson
Photo Credit:  Jessica Johnson

The Vibe Live concert began with cover band Bon Journey.

If you haven’t already figured it out, they sing covers of Bon Jovi and Journey songs.

The lead singer had some trouble hitting the high notes. At times it sounded as if he were screaming.

Their cover of “Don’t Stop Believing” was very well orchestrated.

Next up on the lineup: Sugar Ray.

Cue moment when everyone born circa 1990 realizes that they’ve probably heard these songs before somewhere.

Lead singer Mark McGrath is so silly.

“You see this ring?” he said right before the band performed “Fly.”

“This is the no fun ring,” he said, referring to the band on his third finger.

I mean, if that’s how you feel after being married to beautician Carin Kingsland for only a year then…

And to the people in the crowd next to Jessica dancing in circles around a folded sweater:

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DRINKING? THIS IS NOT A FREAKING MOSH PIT!

After Sugar Ray, DJ Whatever tried very hard to stall until Ms. Kesha Rose Sebert decided she was ready to sing her little heart out for all of us Hofstrans.

The crowd danced to the “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO and the ancient folk song “Cotton-Eyed Joe,” circa Civil War.

I stopped the shenanigans when DJ Whatever decided to try to make us dance to “Gangnam Style.”

If you were on a blanket in the grass, I hope you danced. In the crowd, no. I’m not going to try riding an invisible horse when I have fourteen people breathing down my neck in desperation for Ke$ha.

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Ke$ha at Hofstra Vibe Live 2013
Photo Credit: Jessica Johnson

Ke$ha opened her performance galactic style with “Warrior,” the song that she named her 2012 album after.

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Ke$sha Performing “Warrior”

Other songs she performed included “Crazy Kids,” “Tik Tok,” “We R Who We R” and “Blow.”

Ke$ha Performing "Take it Off"

Ke$ha Performing “Take it Off”

For “Blah, Blah, Blah,” Ke$ha brought two special dancers onto the stage.

“You know, I have a fetish,” she said before bringing two ginormous eyeballs out for the crowd.

Ke$ha Performing "Blah, Blah, Blah"

Ke$ha Performing “Blah, Blah, Blah”

I can’t lie, Ms. Sebert, I like balls too.

She brought her mom onto the stage during the show, and even filmed some of her MTV documentary, My Crazy Beautiful Life.

Don’t even bother trying to find my face in the crowd when that airs. I’m way to short to be seen in that massive array of insanity.

After an encore, Ke$ha closed the Vibe Live concert with “Die Young.” The confetti cannons exploded everywhere.

When I got home that night, three pieces of the red confetti fell out of my shirt.

Way to go guys. I took your mess home with me.

After all the festivities and fireworks, it was time for some serious comedy with Aziz Ansari at the Mack Exhibition Complex.

Aziz Ansari, “Out Loud” Comedy Show, Dangerously Delicious Tour

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Yes, the guy that plays Tom Haverford on Parks and Recreation. No, Amy Phoeler did not get up on stage with him.

This guy actually got one of the VIP floor seated members to let him read her text messages.

The bar at Dizzy’s better have paid for that advertisement. Now we all know she invited a guy to one of the three bars on the strip.

On a night when those “girls was loooooooooose!”

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If there’s anything I’ll take from Aziz’s comedy show it was this: stop being so rude.

If you meet someone and they take your contact information, what are you going to do when they message or call you?

You can keep making excuses. You can lie to them. You can even get them to actually believe that read receipt you got at 8:49am was a Facebook glitch.

Or you can just be honest.

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Fall Fest 2013 was a blast. And so was Aziz Ansari.