This Week in Music: Cher Lloyd’s “I Wish” Music Video ft. T.I.

cher i wish

British singer Cher Lloyd premiered the music video for her song “I Wish” ft. T.I. today, September 24th.

This song is definitely an upgrade from her 2012 hit “Want U Back.” After listening to that song on the radio too many times, her grunting gets a bit irritating.

The critics say that Cher Lloyd’s “I Wish” is the female version of the 1995 Skee-Lo song of the same name.

I love it.

The song has a very jazzy, upbeat feel with its trumpet melody and fast bass drum tempo. I love how the trumpets are distorted for the outro, as Cher laughs.

Cher Lloyd and T.I.

Cher Lloyd and T.I.

Cher Lloyd looks gorgeous in the music video. She plays a waitress at a lounge bar who lusts after T.I., a player who arrives with a group of women falling all over him.

In the song, Cher wishes to be like these girls so that T.I. would notice her. She sings:

I wish I was tall, I wish I was fast
Wish I could shop with a bag full of cash’
Cause If I want you, I gotta have that
(Come, come kiss me boy)
I wish I had style, I wish I had flash
I wish I woke up with a butt and a rack’
Cause If I want you, I gotta have that
(Come, come kiss me boy)

And no, Cher did not kiss T.I. in this music video.

I love the parts where Cher tries to give herself bigger boobs. The first occurs in the kitchen, where she places two golden peppers over her chest.

cher peppers

The second time, she’s in the ladies room trying to stuff toilet paper in her bra.

cher tissue boobs

Classy.

After her shift is over, Cher dons a gold glitter jacket and heels. She walks out of the lounge looking sexier than ever, and T.I.’s eyes follow her.

Of course all of his lady friends are jealous and thoroughly confused.

The dancers in the parking lot scenes were fun to watch. I do wish that Cher could have showed off some of her dance moves in this video.

My only complaint about this music video is the way the scenes skipped by so quickly. None of the scenes last more than 3-5 seconds. It was kind of jarring.

Overall, though, it was fun to watch.

Enjoy the music video!

Don’t forget to catch Cher Lloyd on MTV’s Nikki & Sara LIVE at 11:00 PM ET and “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC at 11:35 PM ET!

Fall 2013 Playlist

fall playlist

Summer is over, guys. As much as you want to hold on to your tank tops and surf boards, autumn is here. It’s time to bring out the rake for all those leaves.

Fall is characterized by rustling leaves and jack-o-lanterns, scarecrows and creepy mansions. Therefore, I present to you a fall playlist of 15 songs that will make you feel haunted.

1. Spotlight, Mutemath: Many of you might remember this song from the first Twilight movie when Bella notices everyone in the school parking lot is staring at her and Edward Cullen as they walk into the building. The melody created by the chorus of ‘ahs’ in this song will send chills up your spine. In a good way.

2. Meet My Friends, Gold Fields: This Aussie band will send you into a frenzy with the sinister guitar rifts featured in this song! The lyrics are very dark as well, as they sing, “I saw faces, I saw the fear.” Look away!

3. Entertainment, Phoenix: French band Phoenix uses some creepy sounding synth melodies for this track in order to entertain you. So, did they succeed?

4. I Belong to You, Muse: This song is also featured in a Twilight movie, New Moon to be exact. How comfortable are you with the notion of belonging to Muse?

5. Bones, MS MR: Pretty Little Liars fans might remember this song from the episode where the girls attend Detective Wilden’s funeral. Will you obey MS MR’s command to “Dig up her bones but leave the soul alone”?

6. Bittersweet World, Ashlee Simpson: Got some skeletons in your closet? Well maybe you should let them out so that they can dance to this song!

7. Not in Love, Crystal Castles ft. Olin and the Moon: The notoriously dark electronic band Crystal Castles teams up with Olin and the Moon for this anti-love track. The synth might actually relax you. Might.

8. One Life Stand, Hot Chip: The ever so clever Hot Chip creates a frightful track using a play on the concept of a “one night stand.” Now, the real question is, do you want to be Hot Chip’s one life stand?

9. Insomniatic, Aly and AJ (78Violet): Aly and AJ recorded and released this song before changing their name to 78Violet. I cannot be held responsible if this song keeps you up at night.

10. Howl, Florence and the Machine: The beautiful yet creepy violins in this song make this one of Florence’s masterpieces. So, be careful young, lovers.

11. Heavy Heart, Canon Blue: The discordant synth intro of this song is enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Enjoy!

12. Polish Girl, Neon Indian: I don’t know who she is but Neon Indian is taken by this Polish girl. How quickly can she take you?

13. Shoot the Water, Austra: Between the piano melody and the lyrics, I can’t decide which is creepier. I think the lyrics win, especially when she sings, “I want your blood, I want it in my hair.” Eww.

14. Bloody Mary, Lady Gaga: She won’t cry for you. She just won’t do it. Beware, the deep male ghost-like voices that sing “GAGA” in the bridge are quite alarming. And scary.

15. Are You Afraid?, Rooney: After all of this haunted stuff is said and done, are you afraid? Did I actually give you a scare? Rooney wants to know!


fall music

Have a happy and safe autumn season 2013!

Episode Review: ‘The Mindy Project’ Season 2 Premiere (2×1) “All My Problems Solved Forever…”

mindy project

I don’t know how I survived for so long without my weekly dose of Dr. Mindy Lahiri.

The season 2 premiere of FOX’s The Mindy Project was full of awkward and hilarious moments. Just the way I like it!

The episode begins with a proposal by none other than our favorite New York City pastor, Casey.

Of course, right before the proposal, Mindy begins to realize there are ants in the tree they’re sitting in.

“Not exactly the segway I was looking for…,” Casey says as he digs for the ring and Mindy picks at the ants.

After he pulls out the ring Mindy gasps, saying, “Are you kidding?! I need to Vine this!”

cindy

Mind you they’re sitting in a tree in the middle of nowhere in Haiti.

That’s Mindy for ya.

This episode’s pleasant surprise was special guest James Franco, or, as they would call him at the practice, Dr. Paul Leotard.

franco mindy

James Franco as OBGYN Dr. Paul Leotard

Besides taking over Mindy’s position as OBGYN while she was away in Haiti, he also added something else to his job description:

Sex Therapist.

Need I say more?

I shall.

Dr. Castellano and his ex-wife seek sex therapy from Dr. Leotard in this episode.

Let’s just say it ended in a public announcement of Danny Castellano’s porn addiction and a laptop broken in half.

Yeah.

Other episode highlights include:

1. Dr. Jeremy Reed’s weight gain. The British bloke kept stealing the peanut butter bars from Mindy’s care packages. Needless to say, it all went to his stomach.

2. Mindy’s hair. It’s still short. I don’t like it. I’m glad they’re postponing the wedding so that it has time to grow in a bit.

3. When Casey accidentally pees on Mindy’s wedding dress. You’ll just have to see what happens after that yourself.

4. When Casey says to Mindy after she’s already halfway down the aisle, “I don’t want to marry you anymore.” Heart attacks. Heart attacks everywhere.

5. When Dr. Leotard (James Franco) sneaks up on Mindy. How does he tread so lightly? “I’m part Cherokee,” he says. Okay, then.

6. When Mindy decides not to go back to Haiti with Casey, and both Mindy and Dr. Leotard ask each other “Well, where you gonna work?”

I cannot wait to see what shenanigans Mindy will get herself into for next week’s episode!

Hulu Plus users, catch the episode here!

Snooki Calls Kate Middleton A MILF

snooki and kate

Oh, Snooki.

As many of you know, the royal baby’s family portraits leaked three hours early via Twitter. Apparently not even the royals can control the internet.

Or Snooki’s mouth for that matter.

After seeing the beautiful family portraits, one with just Kate, William, and George, and another with the family plus dogs Tilly and Lupo, Snooki decided to gush over them on her Celebuzz blog:

“Congrats to Will and Kate on their beautiful baby boy George! He totally looks like his daddy here, and I can already tell he’s going to be the cutest royal baby ever!!! And can I just say how fricken AMAZING Kate looks?! Like why is she perfect?! She just gave birth and she looks like she’s ready to walk the runway.

“She is my inspiration for my next pregnancy! So obsessed with this family and cannot wait to hear more about them! We all know they will be amazing parents to their precious nugget! I’m just waiting to hear the dirty poop and pee stories!!! Kisses to you guys, and Kate….you’re a MILF.”

Umm, what?!

Leave it to Snooki to go over the top with her compliments.

A simple, “and Kate…you look gorgeous” or “…stunning”, or “…SEXY” even would have done.

But no. MILF just had to be her word of choice.

Gotta give the girl some props for managing to be relevant in the revealing of these portraits, though.

 

The Royal Baby Might Become a TV Star

royal baby

Prince George Alexander Louis was born a mere 18 days ago, and he has already been offered a role in a British soap opera.

What a lucky baby boy.

Coronation_Street_Titles

John Whiston, the creative director of the show Coronation Street, told The Daily Star that he wanted the royal baby to join the cast, Prince William and Kate included.

“It would be fantastic to get Kate [Middleton], [Prince] William and George there with a pair of tiny baby scissors,” he said.

Georgie just recently got his birth certificate for crying out loud! He hasn’t even been christened yet and they’re already trying to cast him in a television show?

Madness!

Coronation Street is the longest running British soap opera, so I can see how it would be an honor for the cast to work alongside the royal family.

If the family decides to take the role, they will not be the first Duke and Dutchess to appear on the show. The Duke of Bedford, John Ian Robert Russell appeared in Episode 1288 (21st May 1973) and Episode 1289 (23rd May 1973).

So is a television role in the cards for little Prince George?

North West, be jealous.

Kelly Clarkson’s Jane Austen Gold Ring Fiasco

Vaizey and Clarkson

UK Culture, Communications and Creative Industries Minister Ed Vaizey and Kelly Clarkson

Once upon a time, Kelly Clarkson bought British writer Jane Austen’s gold ring at a Sotheby’s auction.

For over £150,000 ($228,000 USD).

That’s a large amount of British pounds there!

However, the odds don’t seem to be in Kelly Clarkson’s favor with this ring.

The UK’s Culture, Communications and Creative Industries Minister Ed Vaizey placed a ban on the ring, preventing her from taking it out of the country.

Image: Jane Austen's ring, on auction at Sotheby's

Jane Austen’s ring

According to DailyMail, “the ring is one of only three surviving pieces of jewellery known to have belonged to the Pride and Prejudice author, having been given to her sister Cassandra and then passed down through the family before it was sold.”

Vaizey is hoping that a Brit will buy the ring so that the late author’s jewel stays in the UK.

“Jane Austen’s modest lifestyle and her early death mean that objects associated with her of any kind are extremely rare, so I hope that a UK buyer comes forward so this simple but elegant ring can be saved for the nation,” he said.

The ban expires on September 30th. If proof emerges of “a serious intention to raise funds” to match the price of the ring, the export license can be extended until December 30th.

So will that ring be leaving the UK before 2013 is over? Or will Kelly Clarkson have to leave the jewel in its native land?

If the Brits manage to keep the ring, at least Kelly still has that first edition copy of Austen’s novel “Persuasion” she also bought in the Sotheby’s sale.

Remember Kelly, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

Nigella Lawson Choked by Husband at Restaurant in London

nigella lawson

While dining at a restaurant called Scott’s in Mayfair, Central London, celeb chef Nigella Lawson was choked by her multimillionaire husband Charles Saatchi.

Reports state that Saatchi reached his hand over the table and grabbed Lawson’s throat. A British newspaper got photos of the incident.

The people dining around them were frightened by the sight. One person said, “It was utterly shocking to watch. I have no doubt she was scared. It was horrific, ­really. She was very tearful and was ­constantly dabbing her eyes. Nigella was very, very upset. She had a real look of fear on her face. No man should do that to a woman. She raised her voice and got angry but at the same time was trying to calm him down, almost like you would try to calm down a child. The kiss was a strange thing. He was being ­intimidating, ­threatening. And yet she kissed him. She ­appeared to be a woman who loves him but was clearly unable to stop him being abusive, ­frightening and ­disrespectful to her.”

A waitress stated that Lawson looked “distraught and in tears.”

Interestingly, this incident occurred at the tables outside the restaurant—the ones on the sidewalk—and no one intervened.

Come on people! Jeez!

Nigella Lawson has not pressed charges.

The two have been married since 2003. I wonder what has been going on between them to cause such violent public acts.

This morning, British politician Nick Griffin joked about the incident on Twitter, writing, “If I had the opportunity to squeeze Nigella Lawson, her throat wouldn’t be my first choice.”

This is not something to joke about, Griffin.

Other celebs on Twitter responded to Griffin’s comment.

DJ LL Cool P tweeted, “how is “nick griffin” legal? how is that something that exists?”

Louise Lainton wrote, “Jesus Christ, I frigging hate sharing an island with people like Nick Griffin.”

Derek Knight said, “Nick Griffin reminds me of a 5 year old desperately saying the most offensive thing he can think of in the hope someone will pay attention.”

Munieb Raban also tweeted, “Well done Nick Griffin, reassuring the masses once again what an absolute moron you are.”

Moron indeed.

Charles Saatchi claims that, “About a week ago, [he and his wife] were sitting outside a restaurant having an intense debate about the children, and [he] held Nigella’s neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasize [his] point.

“There was no grip, it was a playful tiff. The pictures are horrific but give a far more drastic and violent impression of what took place. Nigella’s tears were because [they] both hate arguing, not because she had been hurt.

“[They] had made up by the time [they] were home. The paparazzi were congregated outside [their] house after the story broke yesterday morning, so [he] told Nigella to take the kids off till the dust settled.”

I don’t know how much truth lies in Saatchi’s claims, but the fact that he put his hands on his wife like that is unacceptable. If he could do something like that in public, who knows what he would do, or has done, behind closed doors!

If he needs anger management, he should get some. Soon. I don’t want to hear that he was trying to “emphasize” a point to his children and end up choking them to death instead.