#OITNB Season 3: Woah there, Alex Vause Is Back?!

Screenshot 2015-06-12 at 8.01.37 PM

About seven minutes into season 3 episode 1 of Orange is the New Black titled “Mother’s Day”, I had a WTF moment.

I did one of those double takes, because I really cannot believe Alex Vause managed to get herself back into Litchfield.

What even?!

Okay, screenwriters and producers, I have some questions:

1. Why is it necessary to bring Alex Vause back into the plot? (besides the fact that it may have happened in the real life version of Piper Kerman’s story)

2. How much did it cost to bring Alex Vause’s character back? (Because Laura Prepon don’t look cheap…)

3. What is this about a gun being the reason she’s back at Litchfield?

4. When are you going to have her explain the reason for her return in full detail?

5. Are we going to get a tale about that black eye?

6. Did the black eye come from one of her long lost dealer friends?

7. Is there a small part of Alex that feels safer at Litchfield? (Because, you know, dealers with weapons are scary)

8. Is Piper going to fully reignite her romance with Alex since her husband has officially left her for her best friend?

9. Is Alex going to let her?

I really hope these questions get answers by the end of the season.

Watch Orange is the New Black season 3 on Netflix.

 

 

 

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Episode Review: ‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 2 “Thirsty Bird”

SPOILER ALERT: PLEASE WATCH THE EPISODE ON NETFLIX BEFORE READING.

Don’t be alarmed if your friends aren’t answering any of your texts, Facebook messages or emails this weekend. They’re probably just glued to their Netflix in celebration of the release of Orange is the New Black season 2.

If you’ve had the great pleasure of seeing the season 2 trailer, you’ll notice that Piper’s gone a bit wacko.

Like, big time.

However, that’s not the Piper you’ll see in the first episode of season 2, “Thirsty Bird.”

In fact, Piper is stressed beyond the brink in this episodepanic, tears, and all.

The episode is named after a big, bright-yellow food blob/stain on the wall in Piper’s cell, where it is assumed she was sent directly after the Pennsatucky incident.

“This is art,” Piper says about the blob/stain after the officer suggests she lick it off the wall for breakfast.

"Thirsty Bird"

‘Thirsty Bird’

“This is a yellow warbler drinking out of a daffodil,” she continues. “She just cannot get enough. I’m calling it ‘Thirsty Bird’.”

For viewers, the lingering question during this episode is probably, “Is Pennsatucky dead?”

For Piper, it’s “Do you know where we’re going?”

Literally, by the end of “Thirsty Bird,” Piper is more than ten hours away from Litchfield.

Prison torture at its finest.

The episode also includes cockroaches, an introduction to young Piper, and, wait for it…

MALE INMATES.

young piper

I think the scene on the plane will go down in history as the one of the show’s roughest emotional roller coasters.

oitnb male inmates

Your hatred for Alex Vause will reach an all-time high in the final scene. Just a warning.

Watch the entirety of Orange is the New Black season 2 on Netflix!

 

Internet Week New York 2014 (Day 2): Grace Helbig, Piper Kerman and Larry Smith

IWNY

NYC’s Metropolitan Pavilion was filled with techies, YouTube junkies, and bookworms on day two of Internet Week New York.

Grace Helbig, known for the YouTube channels DailyGrace, and recently it’sGrace, joined David-Michel Davies, Executive Director of The Webby Awards, for a Webby Session on the EVOLVE MEDIA stage at 12:30pm.

“I have this disease where if I stop working I die,” she told Davies.

Grace Helbig IWNY 2014

Grace spoke about her knack for creating content on YouTube, Camp Takota, and even a new book she’s supposedly writing.

When asked about the book from a member of the audience she was dumbfounded.

The Evolution of Lady Sitting (Grace Helbig Edition)

The Evolution of Lady Sitting (Grace Helbig Edition)

“The FBI should start hiring you people on Tumblr,” she said when the fan confessed how she found out about the secret book.

Davies tried to get her to spill some information about the book, but all he got from Grace was, “VAGUE, VAGUE, VAGUE, VAGUE, VAGUE.”

She claims she’ll tell us more if we nag her about it enough on Twitter, so make your thumbs useful!

And don’t think I didn’t see you cowering away from everyone during the event, Chester See!

Still can’t believe I got to meet Grace Helbig on my birthday!

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Also, this was a nice surprise @chesterseesphotos #IWNY

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To make matters even more exciting, Piper Kerman and Larry Smith, the real Piper Chapman and Larry Bloom of Netflix series Orange is the New Black took the EVOLVE MEDIA Stage for a chat with Lean In journalist and Contributing Editor Jessica Bennett later in the afternoon.

Larry and Piper IWNY 2014

The couple have become masters at expressing themselves with six-word memoirs. Smith’s t-shirt said it all with a simple phrase: Now I obsessively count the words.

Despite the fact that Piper Kerman wrote an entire memoir about her year in a women’s prison, she admitted that she’s a very private person.

The fact that the television adaptation of Orange is the New Black is loosely based on the true story of Piper and Larry makes room for personal moments amidst all the media hype.

“Even fictional stories have this gounding in reality.” –@piper at #iwnypic.twitter.com/wzxjIzafEx — Six Words from SMITH (@sixwords) May 20, 2014

Even the other inmates were given different names for the memoir, “and some telling details from their stories were changed” as well, said Kerman.

“Just read the book,” Smith demanded at one point during the open question portion of the panel.

For more six-word memoirs, read Smith’s The Moment: Wild, Poignant, Life-Changing Stories from 125 Writers and Artists Famous & Obscure.

Oh, and mark your smartphone calendars, fellow OITNB fans: Orange is the New Black returns to Netflix on June 6th!

HQ IWNY

Special thanks to Internet Week New York for the HQ Pass!